Advance care planning is the process of learning about and recording a person’s wishes for future medical care, and naming someone to make decisions if they cannot. Starting the conversation early, while everyone is calm and healthy, makes it easier for families to honor those wishes later.
This guide offers simple ways to begin and an overview of common documents. Legal and medical professionals can help with specifics.
What Advance Care Planning Includes
The National Institute on Aging explains that advance care planning involves learning about the types of decisions that might need to be made, considering those decisions ahead of time, and letting others know your preferences, often through advance directives.
Common documents
A living will describes treatment preferences, and a durable power of attorney for health care names a person to make medical decisions if someone cannot. Each state has its own forms and rules, so Texas residents should use Texas-specific documents.
Why Families Put It Off
Many people avoid the subject because it feels uncomfortable, or they assume there is plenty of time. Some parents worry the conversation means their children expect bad news. Framing advance care planning as a gift to the family, a way to avoid confusion and conflict, can help.
How to Start the Conversation
- Pick a relaxed time, not during a crisis.
- Use a story as an opening: a friend’s experience or a news story.
- Ask open questions: What matters most to you if you become seriously ill?
- Listen more than you talk.
- Share your own wishes too.
- Plan to talk more than once.
In many El Paso families, faith and culture shape these decisions. Invite those values into the conversation, and include a faith leader if your parent wishes.
Questions to Explore
- Who would you want to make decisions if you could not?
- Where would you prefer to receive care if your health declines?
- What would a good day look like if you were seriously ill?
- Are there treatments you would or would not want?
- How important is staying at home?
Making It Official
Once wishes are clear, put them in writing using the appropriate Texas forms. An elder law attorney can help, and the person’s doctor can explain medical options. Give copies to the named decision-maker, family members, and doctors. Keep the originals in a safe but accessible place.
Review regularly
Revisit plans after major life events, a new diagnosis, or every few years.
Connecting Plans to Daily Care
Advance care planning often brings up preferences about daily life too, such as wanting to stay at home as long as possible. Knowing those wishes helps families plan for the support needed, whether that is help from relatives, community programs, or in-home care. Medical decisions remain with the person, their chosen decision-maker, and their healthcare providers.
If Your Parent Does Not Want to Talk
Some parents resist the conversation at first. That is normal. Try again later, or approach the topic from a different angle, such as sharing that you have completed your own advance directive. Some families find it easier to start with practical questions, like where important papers are kept, before moving to deeper topics.
Involving a doctor
A doctor can explain medical options in clear terms and help your parent understand what different choices might mean. Medicare covers advance care planning conversations with a doctor as part of certain visits; ask the doctor’s office about this.
When siblings disagree
Family members may have different opinions about care. Advance care planning focuses on the parent’s wishes, not anyone else’s. Encourage your parent to share their wishes with all their children at once, and keep a written record so there is less room for confusion later.
Keep it ongoing
Treat advance care planning as an ongoing conversation rather than a one-time task. Wishes can change, and regular check-ins help families stay aligned.
Where to Keep the Documents
Advance directives only help if people can find them. Keep originals in a safe but accessible place, not a locked safety deposit box that cannot be opened quickly. Give copies to the named decision-maker and to doctors, and bring a copy to hospital admissions. Some families keep a card in the person’s wallet noting that advance directives exist and where to find them.
After the Conversation
Once wishes are written down, day-to-day care can follow them. Our home care services page explains the non-medical support that helps people stay at home as they prefer, and El Paso in-home care services has more about our approach. Call (915) 307-6103 with questions about care at home.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is advance care planning?
It is the process of making decisions about future medical care and sharing them with family and healthcare providers, often through advance directives.
When should my parents do advance care planning?
Any time, but ideally before a health crisis, while they can share their wishes clearly.
What documents are part of advance care planning in Texas?
Common documents include a directive to physicians (living will) and a medical power of attorney. An attorney or healthcare provider can explain Texas forms.
How do I bring up advance care planning with my parents?
Choose a calm time, ask open questions about what matters most, listen, and share your own wishes.
Do advance directives need to be updated?
Yes, it is wise to review them after major life events, a new diagnosis, or every few years, and to share updated copies with family and doctors.